Historical fact: lattes gave George Washington menengitis, hence the rudimentary dentures.
Ok, so your Tweenage daughter wants a copy of Twilight and you don’t want to shell out the cheese. Your alone on a Friday afternoon and you want nothing better than to sit down to the third season of M*A*S*H*. Your computer exploded and you need someplace other than Kinkos, which charges $12 an hour for computer usage, to go to so you can get the latest stock quotes (yeah, right, more like Facebook time).
Libraries are more useful than for their free WiFi. They can actually be a huge resource for those strapped for cash. Traditionally, you would never want to step foot in a library. They are quiet…too quiet. Now that liberals are in the White House, though, librarians have started loosening their collars and unhooking the first button at the top of their blouses. You can walk into libraries now and see actual human beings, instead of those photophobic peculiar past-obsessed people. There are computers, new books, and they even let you take home DVD’s in public libraries nowadays. I know, I know I’ll let you recuperate. Now here’s an even bigger secret…it’s all free!
Somebody get Jesus, cause I think I’m in Heaven! Depending on if you live in an urban area, there also may be a coffee shop or small eatery in your library, and I’m pretty sure they all have restrooms, and chairs. If you were so inclined, there is a small possibility you could live at the library. And, you’d be able to get a ton of stuff done, as well. Here’s a rundown of the savings:
Item In a Store At a Library
Book $35 $0
Internet $.25 a min. $0
T.V. $30 a month $0
Rent $600 $0
Depending on how much you use all that stuff, you could really be on your way to savings. You might actually need to add more to the rent on the library side, depending on how sneaky you are, due to fines. Besides, it is practically a given that none of your friends will be slumming at the library, so there is little chance they will find out that is where you are at. This could ruin your reputation, as some still have the stigma that all library patrons are heliophobic hunchback history-obsessed humaniods. I’ll let you in on a little secret…I am writing this blog at a library right this second. And you weren’t the wiser, were you?
Now, before you get all warm and fuzzy about our government and it’s giving us these amazing local resources for free, there are some drawbacks. The late fees can get expensive- especially if you wait as long as this guy to return a book. Also, you might have to pay for things such as printing. And about that quiet…yeah, you really should be quiet in a library still. The older librarians usually give you some sour looks if you don’t. There might be some aversion to travelling all the way down to the library to check if someone IM’d you.
Also, there is the off-chance of a serious paper-cut.