Posts Tagged ‘ipod’

Five Foot Fix: iPod Farce

Monday, July 13th, 2009

What is it like walking down the street and seeing everyone else has a new-fangled iPod to play with? If you already own a kickin’ iPod, don’t even bother finishing this article. All you’ll do is laugh at mine (and perhaps other unfortunate people’s) expense.

You see, I don’t have an iPod. I did, several weeks ago, but it was straight up stolen from my house. No joke. So, I have been thinking about how to replace it. Well, since I don’t really have  $150 to blow on another one (just to see it stolen again), I’ve been considering some alternatives so that, from five feet away at least, I look as though I have money to burn. Here’s the ideas, most expensive to least:

See, even you took a double-take.

See, even you took a double-take.

1. The iPod Knock-Off:  Found at www.engadget.com, This may be your best choice in replacing it. At half the cost, you can look like a pro from even up close. Even the most investigative Apple aficionados will have trouble distinguishing it from the real thing.

Cost: $77 (or 4200 Phillipine Pesos)

The Downsides: A lack of memory, ease of use, warranty, functionability, or resale value. But you’ll look good, and isn’t that really the point?

 See how similar this is to...

...this?

See how similar they are (with plenty of imagination)?

2. Gameboy As An iPod Classic: The most brilliant point of this is that you don’t have to shell out much cash to get a hold of an old-skool gameboy, you look like you own a newer and more expensive electronic object, and you get to play some sweet Mario games. There are many ways to go about this. You could paint your Gameboy white and tape on some earbuds; that would make it a Ten Foot Fix. The best, but more difficult option, is convincing people you have this cover for your iPhone so that it just looks like an old-skool (yes, it is spelled that way) Gameboy. Besides, those Gameboys are a heck of a lot more resistant to bombing than iPods.

Cost: $10, when coupled with the earbuds, and paint. And then a few cents at any given yard sale for the games.

Downsides: Hardly any. You can still listen to music, albeit, only classic Nintendo game songs, but what is wrong with that? On the upside, you can play games for about the price of their iPhone app equivelants.

If this dude looks sad, it might be because he's not listening to any music.

If this dude looks sad, it might be because he's not listening to any music. Found here.

3. Headphones Running From Your Pants Pocket To Your Ears: By far the cheapest route in getting your friends to think you posess a decent mp3 player. iPods are so small now that no-one is really going to notice if you have anything in your pocket or not. Of course, to get the genuine Steve Jobs look, it takes genuine headphones. Then again, those things suck so bad that everyone replaces them with decent headphones or earbuds. It is really up to you which ones you get.

Cost: $3.50

Downsides: Yeah, you don’t really get to listen to music, and the original earbuds are so uncomfortable no one wants to wear them when they do get to listen to music. And if someone asks you what you are listening to, it is hard to make up stuff. It is even harder to show them the cover art.

I promise tomorrow’s post isn’t going to be a list! I just happen to be in the habit with lists right now. I’ll snap out of it. 1. I’ll start my blog. 2. I won’t write a list. 3. You all will be happy. Perhaps a review of a website will be in order.

Hoofin’ It: Let Your Walking Do The Saving

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
You could drive some vans, or you could save some money and walk in your Vans.

You could drive some vans, or you could save some money and walk in your Vans.

Cars are overrated. They pollute, you get stuck in traffic, they get scratched, gas is expensive, your tires blow out, your insurance sucks, everybody else seems to have a better car than you, the guy next to you at the traffic light always seems to be playing Britney Spears at full blast. Not that there isn’t fun in watching him lip sync, there definitely is, but you still get the feeling that life would be better if he’d turn it down.

Bikes are better, but they still have problems. If you don’t have an iPod, you might have to carry around a full-size home stereo system. They still have tires that can blow out, you can fall off, there’s the stigma that comes with wearing bicycle shorts. Not that you don’t already wear bicycle shorts, you definitely do, but you still get the feeling that life would be better if nobody saw you in them.

I could keep going, but I think you get my drift. Some of the best equipment to travel in is the stuff that you have had since birth. Walking is a great way to get some exercise, see the sights, and if you decide to change out of those bicycle shorts, no one will judge you if you’re walking. Sure, you might have to go through pairs of shoes like water because of the increased usage, but if you go to Payless and don’t mind the blisters that their shoes provide, it would equal out to about as much as you’d pay for oil changes.

Remember when Forrest Gump decided that one day to go running, and he ran from coast to coast a couple of times? If a slightly mentally handicapped movie character can get up the courage to give up other forms of transportation, you can too! If your job is to far to walk to in a reasonable amount of time, just quit and get a new job closer to where you live. Or, better yet, sell your house and get a new house closer to your work. The housing market is so bad, you won’t get your money’s worth for your house, but that new house won’t be as expensive, either. It’s even stevens!

The real benefit, though, is money. Do you know the real cost of keeping your car? With the average car payment of around $300 a month, that’s $3,600 a year. Then, if you get three oil changes a year, that’s another $150. Then there’s gas. At 15,000 miles a year, at 30 mpg, and if gas is $2.00 a gallon, your out another $1,000. Insurance, depending on your age and previous driving history, will lighten your wallet by roughly $1000 a year. The factory’s scheduled maintenance, that will set you back $350 or so. Oh, and you have to go through that car wash every once in a while, so we’ll add another $50. You know, as I mentioned in a previous blog, you could save an awful lot by washing the car yourself. So, at a grand total of $6,150, is it really worth it?

I mean, that is a lot of Air Jordans.