Posts Tagged ‘free stuff’

Craigslist Cruisin’: Free Stuff!

Thursday, September 17th, 2009
Free free free!

Free free free!

Ok, so by now if you are a regular reader, you would have figured out that I like Craigslist. A lot. If gay marriage were legal, I would marry Craig and the List would be our baby. If you have been living under a wifi-less rock for the past ten years, here’s the update. www.craigslist.com is the best thing since Sonny met Cher, and here is the number one reason why:

Free stuff. Where else can you power up your internets and find a 4000 gallon fish tank for free, in your neighborhood? That’s right! Imagine the social ramifications:

“Hey, want to go out sometime?”

“No.”

“I have a 4000 gallon fish tank.”

“What?”

“I have a 50 lb. koi.”

“If you let me see your koi, can I pay for dinner?”

See! It is like having a personal social training coach (a la “Hitch”) for free. And, I have to say, “let me see your koi” holds plenty of promise for how the date is going to go. Anyway, I found that fish tank after literally seconds of searching. If you put a little bit of effort into it, you might be able to find something even better, however unlikely that may seem.

Here’s my secret methods for cruising the free section:

  • Ignore curb alerts. Contrary to popular opinion, you really CAN have too many slightly dog-eared fiberboard entertainment centers.
  • Mattresses that are free are not a good deal. The risk of contracting a disease through the exchange of bodily fluids far outweighs the danger of acute sleep-deprivation from snoozing on the floor.
  • If the entire title is in bold, or there are more than 1 “FREE” in the title, then they are trying to dispose of something that is illegal or worth less than nothing, or both.
  • Don’t get free food. See “Mattresses”; replace “acute sleep-deprivation from snoozing on the floor” with “death by starvation”.
  • If you have a smallish house and little willpower, it may be a good idea to avoid the free section altogether.
  • Avoid any service that is promised to be performed for free. That is more fishy than a 4000 gallon fish tank. Just…don’t.

Well, enough with what not to do. Here are some more great things I found on the free section:

Free piano!

Intellivision II non-functional gaming console without cords!

Corded phone! For free, can you believe it?!?

1 lb. of Potatoes!

Alright! I think I can set you free out in to the Craigslist “Free Section” world without worrying too much about you! By the way…I saw that free fish tank first, so back off.

Do You Have A Birthday?

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Congratulations! Its a blog! And it is going to tell you on how to cash in on your mother’s distress. It seems moms get all of the fun, what with their free sundaes at ice-cream shops on mother’s day. Well, if you weren’t bitter about it before, perhaps you are now. But not to worry–mom’s don’t get all of the perks from their nine-month gestation and hours-long delivery. I’ve discovered a treasure trove of ways to cash in on your birthday and get some pleasure out of being born, too.

Rewards programs are not as bad as they seem. Sure the government can track you through their networks and they spam your email with enticing coups for stuff you can’t afford, but every once in a while, at a certain time of year, they are super beneficial. I’ll give a couple of examples to peak your interest:

1. Applebees through Wendy’s, here is a list of restaurants that will give you food on your birthday if you sign up with their rewards program. Boo-ya! I’m sure you could feed the entire homeless population in your hometown if you move between the restaurants quick enough. Free philanthropy! (Found at www.mrcheapstuff.com, I’ll do a review in some upcoming blog!)

2. Local golf places often waive fees on a person’s birthday or the week surrounding it. Since I don’t know where you like to golf, I can’t help you out with any specifics, but here is an example of what your looking for.

3. Disney World and Disneyland in 2009! ‘Nuff said. Hope it didn’t pass you by this year. But a word of warning, you have sign up online here before you go. Don’t just try to show up with your driver’s license, or else they’ll have Mickey kick you out. And the kids don’t want to see that.

4. Hollywood Video lets you rent a movie gratis on your b-day. I’d recommend “Sixteen Candles”.

Alright! Sounds like a full day! If you need any more help in finding some free stuff on your birthday, you can always go to www.birthdayfreebies.com (although you have to sign up with them first) or here is a great article about tips and tricks when using your coups and rewards programs on your birthday. Good luck, and Happy Birthday!

You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too!

P.S. If you don’t have a birthday because you are and alien or because you were born on a leap year or something, here is a great site that goes over some guy’s venture into mailing companies trying to get free stuff. If it helps you click on the link, he wrote this sentence: “My wife watches so much television, I sometimes forget that she’s not physically and permanently attached to my couch.” Good stuff.