Posts Tagged ‘appliance’

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Repairman

Friday, July 10th, 2009

So, today, I learned a valuable lesson that I think everyone could benefit from learning. In this case, I’ll give it to you the easy way despite myself learning it the hard way. Don’t, and I mean never, ever, ever, spray anything of the liquid type in the general direction of exposed electrical wires. Just don’t.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, once you do eventually ignore my advice and screw something up, remember that the first thing you should reach for isn’t the phone to call a repairman. Instead, reach for your toolbox. As it turns out, everything that was ever built by humans was made with tools (anything worthwhile anyway). That means that no matter what, you can put something together and take it apart if you are properly equipped. Think about it- no more waiting for the cable guy for three hours, no more electrical guy charging you $50 just to take a look, no more waiting for your thingamajig to get re-thingamajiggered.

Someone's thingamajig getting re-thingamajiggered.

Someone's thingamajig getting re-thingamajiggered.

You may be wondering what sort of tools you will need. It depends on your problem, but here is a comprehensive list of things that you may need around the house that can take care of many different issues:

1. Duct tape: yes, it is over-exaggerated how much duct tape can fix things. It will not fix your dog. And apparently it can’t fix ducts. Besides that, it’s probably the first thing I’d try.

2. Adjustable wrench: Not to be comfused with an adjustable wench. Now, for it to be useful, you have to take into account how much it can adjust–the more it can, the better off you’ll be, and the less finangling you’ll have to do. The wrench, I’m talking about the wrench.

3. A Third Hand: You will need this on pretty much every project you take on, and I’m here to tell you, this tool is the most difficult to find. Unless you happen have a helpful neighbor who drives an entry level Mercedes and works as a middle manager. That would be the perfect tool for this job.

4. A Friend or Relative With A Well-Stocked Toolshed: Better than renting, you are using your friendship or bloodline to score the use of some tools. And they don’t have to be back by noon the next day. In fact, depending on how sly you are, they may never have to be returned. If you are from a large Italian family from New Jersey, however, it is always best to return those tools quickly. You never know when Uncle Antonio may need his crowbar.

Well, I’d say that’s pretty much it. You’ve got everything you need to never call the repairman again. Your welcome. I just want to say that if you have all of these tools and you don’t know what to do with them, I will in the future be including some DIY tips and tricks and maybe even a couple of How-To’s. I know, I know. Your welcome again. No, really, your the best. Aw, shucks.