If you opened your door and saw someone whom you knew quite well standing there, with their luggage, what would be your first reaction? Say good mornin’ and tell em where the nearest Motel 6 is at, right? Thankfully, however, most of the world is not like you. Most people take in their relatives/best friends/aquaintances/strangers when the call arises. This can be used to great atvantage by you, my loyal reader.
Cross-country roadtrips now are within reach, just look up anyone with your last name along the way and say your one of “uncle Frank’s kids”. This trick does not work with me because of my unusual last name, but if your name is Jones or something, you are in like flint. There’s even a small chance you really are one of Frank’s kids. Who knows what crazy things your mom did.
If you are feeling really boisterous, you could always just shack up with a relative when you are home, too. There are many excuses that can be used for such a situation, most of them money-related. If your relative has seen your growing bank account, however, you might have to resort to the real reason being that ‘your afraid of the dark’. Then whimper. Now you won’t have to pay rent for at least six months.
Freeloading also works in restaurants. Say your out with your friends, and you go ahead and order the pasta. You get the check, and your friends offer to pay. That is all well and good, you got out with some free pasta. Always say “are you sure?” before proceeding to this next part. If they say yes, turn to the server and ask for a dessert and drink menu. This is going to be one filling evening you won’t remember in the morning. Your friends may never invite you to dinner again, but that will be alright. You never really liked that restaurant anyway.
Bumming rides, gas money, DVD’s, all for free from friends, once you master freeloading, you may never have to pay for anything ever again. So, with all that money, you could probably stand to let me borrow your car this weekend, right, friend?
