If you can make this, you are bound for the little screen, my friend!
Here’s the set-up: you build this big balloon and put it up in the air, and tell your son Johnny Lou Who to go hide in the attic. Then, you call 911 and claim that your son is in the hot air balloon. The entire nation goes wild, you get on Larry King and the Today show, and it only scars your child for a short time that he has to lie to cover your tracks! If you don’t know what I’m referring to by now, check this site out…
And now that you are up to speed…how will it all end? You’ll likely end up with a television show, of course. The next “Jon & Kate Plus 8″…and you know how happy they turned out. So, here are some thoughts on how to get your new TV career going so you no longer have to visit this site to learn how to live largely on the cheap.
Ok, first up, a classic. Have “in vitro fertilization,” the procedure that landed Octomom on the telly and Jon&Kate Plus 8 up there too. Go for the gusto, though, and try and have something bigger than an octuplet. 10 kids all at once ought to do it. If you feel that may be an issue for your health, you could try to have them naturally and catch up to “17 And Counting”. And if you are a man, that’s no excuse not to give it a try anyway.
This may be more difficult, but if you could become a fallen 90′s pop star, you might get a half-hour spot finding your true love on VH1. If you are not a fallen 90′s pop star, you could always create a Wikipedia page pretending you are. VH1 is probably too busy creating Top 100 lists that they may not catch that you are actually an out-of-work former Enron employee.
This last one is simple. Make up a completely ridiculous and extravegant personality and apply for as many tv shows as possible. You could be a semi-retired assasin hippy who flew to the moon once, and you could be on So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol, and Survivor…all at the same time.
Don’t take it from me. Just turn on the tube sometime and think to yourself: Can I be more ridiculous than those people? If the answer is yes, don’t let me stop you. If you do get on a TV show due to my suggestions and begin making tons of money, I wouldn’t expect any royalties, either. Maybe a shameless plug on national primetime television, but no royalties.
