Archive for July, 2009

Cheap Rims

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Everybody wants cool rims on their car. Trust me, even if you don’t think you do, you do. If you haven’t heard, they elevate your status even though most of them are gaudy and often are rented or are on a payment plan. But gosh darn it, if you have 20’s you’ve got money, and you know it (now take it out of your pocket and show it and throw it).

You need to have rims to look good, but you don’t really have the money right now. What are you to do? However good payment plans for your new dubs may sound at first, there are some major downsides. First of all, you run the risk of everyone living in space by the time you pay them off. Next, you will probably pay about three times the cost of them by the time you are done. Then there is the strong possibility that if you fall behind on the payments, you will walk outside to see that your rims were repo’ed and your car is up on blocks.

May I humbly suggest some alternatives. There is always the option of going to Wal-Mart and picking up some hubcaps for the rims you already have. They run about $20 and they don’t look too bad. Then again, everyone will recognize where you got them from and your street cred will be shot.

Your other option is going without rims. Everybody’s doing it. Just take off your hubcaps, leave those nasty black steelies on there, and no one will be the wiser. They will just think you are going after that “rat-rod” look.

Or walk.

Quick tip!

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

rock-lawn

Hey, I don’t have a lot of time. The government is after my brain, but here’s a quick tip: make your lawn into a rock garden to save on water, mowing, and maintenence! Plus, neighbor’s dogs don’t like to, you know, on rocks.

Five Foot Fix: iPod Farce

Monday, July 13th, 2009

What is it like walking down the street and seeing everyone else has a new-fangled iPod to play with? If you already own a kickin’ iPod, don’t even bother finishing this article. All you’ll do is laugh at mine (and perhaps other unfortunate people’s) expense.

You see, I don’t have an iPod. I did, several weeks ago, but it was straight up stolen from my house. No joke. So, I have been thinking about how to replace it. Well, since I don’t really have  $150 to blow on another one (just to see it stolen again), I’ve been considering some alternatives so that, from five feet away at least, I look as though I have money to burn. Here’s the ideas, most expensive to least:

See, even you took a double-take.

See, even you took a double-take.

1. The iPod Knock-Off:  Found at www.engadget.com, This may be your best choice in replacing it. At half the cost, you can look like a pro from even up close. Even the most investigative Apple aficionados will have trouble distinguishing it from the real thing.

Cost: $77 (or 4200 Phillipine Pesos)

The Downsides: A lack of memory, ease of use, warranty, functionability, or resale value. But you’ll look good, and isn’t that really the point?

 See how similar this is to...

...this?

See how similar they are (with plenty of imagination)?

2. Gameboy As An iPod Classic: The most brilliant point of this is that you don’t have to shell out much cash to get a hold of an old-skool gameboy, you look like you own a newer and more expensive electronic object, and you get to play some sweet Mario games. There are many ways to go about this. You could paint your Gameboy white and tape on some earbuds; that would make it a Ten Foot Fix. The best, but more difficult option, is convincing people you have this cover for your iPhone so that it just looks like an old-skool (yes, it is spelled that way) Gameboy. Besides, those Gameboys are a heck of a lot more resistant to bombing than iPods.

Cost: $10, when coupled with the earbuds, and paint. And then a few cents at any given yard sale for the games.

Downsides: Hardly any. You can still listen to music, albeit, only classic Nintendo game songs, but what is wrong with that? On the upside, you can play games for about the price of their iPhone app equivelants.

If this dude looks sad, it might be because he's not listening to any music.

If this dude looks sad, it might be because he's not listening to any music. Found here.

3. Headphones Running From Your Pants Pocket To Your Ears: By far the cheapest route in getting your friends to think you posess a decent mp3 player. iPods are so small now that no-one is really going to notice if you have anything in your pocket or not. Of course, to get the genuine Steve Jobs look, it takes genuine headphones. Then again, those things suck so bad that everyone replaces them with decent headphones or earbuds. It is really up to you which ones you get.

Cost: $3.50

Downsides: Yeah, you don’t really get to listen to music, and the original earbuds are so uncomfortable no one wants to wear them when they do get to listen to music. And if someone asks you what you are listening to, it is hard to make up stuff. It is even harder to show them the cover art.

I promise tomorrow’s post isn’t going to be a list! I just happen to be in the habit with lists right now. I’ll snap out of it. 1. I’ll start my blog. 2. I won’t write a list. 3. You all will be happy. Perhaps a review of a website will be in order.

Do You Have A Birthday?

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Congratulations! Its a blog! And it is going to tell you on how to cash in on your mother’s distress. It seems moms get all of the fun, what with their free sundaes at ice-cream shops on mother’s day. Well, if you weren’t bitter about it before, perhaps you are now. But not to worry–mom’s don’t get all of the perks from their nine-month gestation and hours-long delivery. I’ve discovered a treasure trove of ways to cash in on your birthday and get some pleasure out of being born, too.

Rewards programs are not as bad as they seem. Sure the government can track you through their networks and they spam your email with enticing coups for stuff you can’t afford, but every once in a while, at a certain time of year, they are super beneficial. I’ll give a couple of examples to peak your interest:

1. Applebees through Wendy’s, here is a list of restaurants that will give you food on your birthday if you sign up with their rewards program. Boo-ya! I’m sure you could feed the entire homeless population in your hometown if you move between the restaurants quick enough. Free philanthropy! (Found at www.mrcheapstuff.com, I’ll do a review in some upcoming blog!)

2. Local golf places often waive fees on a person’s birthday or the week surrounding it. Since I don’t know where you like to golf, I can’t help you out with any specifics, but here is an example of what your looking for.

3. Disney World and Disneyland in 2009! ‘Nuff said. Hope it didn’t pass you by this year. But a word of warning, you have sign up online here before you go. Don’t just try to show up with your driver’s license, or else they’ll have Mickey kick you out. And the kids don’t want to see that.

4. Hollywood Video lets you rent a movie gratis on your b-day. I’d recommend “Sixteen Candles”.

Alright! Sounds like a full day! If you need any more help in finding some free stuff on your birthday, you can always go to www.birthdayfreebies.com (although you have to sign up with them first) or here is a great article about tips and tricks when using your coups and rewards programs on your birthday. Good luck, and Happy Birthday!

You look like a monkey and you smell like one, too!

P.S. If you don’t have a birthday because you are and alien or because you were born on a leap year or something, here is a great site that goes over some guy’s venture into mailing companies trying to get free stuff. If it helps you click on the link, he wrote this sentence: “My wife watches so much television, I sometimes forget that she’s not physically and permanently attached to my couch.” Good stuff.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Repairman

Friday, July 10th, 2009

So, today, I learned a valuable lesson that I think everyone could benefit from learning. In this case, I’ll give it to you the easy way despite myself learning it the hard way. Don’t, and I mean never, ever, ever, spray anything of the liquid type in the general direction of exposed electrical wires. Just don’t.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, once you do eventually ignore my advice and screw something up, remember that the first thing you should reach for isn’t the phone to call a repairman. Instead, reach for your toolbox. As it turns out, everything that was ever built by humans was made with tools (anything worthwhile anyway). That means that no matter what, you can put something together and take it apart if you are properly equipped. Think about it- no more waiting for the cable guy for three hours, no more electrical guy charging you $50 just to take a look, no more waiting for your thingamajig to get re-thingamajiggered.

Someone's thingamajig getting re-thingamajiggered.

Someone's thingamajig getting re-thingamajiggered.

You may be wondering what sort of tools you will need. It depends on your problem, but here is a comprehensive list of things that you may need around the house that can take care of many different issues:

1. Duct tape: yes, it is over-exaggerated how much duct tape can fix things. It will not fix your dog. And apparently it can’t fix ducts. Besides that, it’s probably the first thing I’d try.

2. Adjustable wrench: Not to be comfused with an adjustable wench. Now, for it to be useful, you have to take into account how much it can adjust–the more it can, the better off you’ll be, and the less finangling you’ll have to do. The wrench, I’m talking about the wrench.

3. A Third Hand: You will need this on pretty much every project you take on, and I’m here to tell you, this tool is the most difficult to find. Unless you happen have a helpful neighbor who drives an entry level Mercedes and works as a middle manager. That would be the perfect tool for this job.

4. A Friend or Relative With A Well-Stocked Toolshed: Better than renting, you are using your friendship or bloodline to score the use of some tools. And they don’t have to be back by noon the next day. In fact, depending on how sly you are, they may never have to be returned. If you are from a large Italian family from New Jersey, however, it is always best to return those tools quickly. You never know when Uncle Antonio may need his crowbar.

Well, I’d say that’s pretty much it. You’ve got everything you need to never call the repairman again. Your welcome. I just want to say that if you have all of these tools and you don’t know what to do with them, I will in the future be including some DIY tips and tricks and maybe even a couple of How-To’s. I know, I know. Your welcome again. No, really, your the best. Aw, shucks.